Back to Work. Ugh.

I go back to work on Monday and I feel like my heart is breaking. I can't stand the thought of not being with Lilah everyday. It is just not fair. I'm not ready to leave her. I need about 18 more years lol! Lilah will be with Brian every Monday and my mom every Tuesday. She is will be with Nancy (our neighbor who has a son Lilah's age) Wednesday thru Friday unless Brian is off work. I am hoping to get my schedule modified so that I can work 4 days a week and be home with her an extra day. I did the math and after insurance and taxes being taken out of my check and paying for childcare I will be working for about $1.75 an hour on the days she is with Nancy. Awesome. Defintely NOT worth being away from my baby girl. I just hate it. I never imagined that I would be the one who would WANT to be a stay-at-home mom, but now that is all I want and I can't have it right now.

Professional Pics

wow...

The picture on the left was taken when Lilah was 8 days old and the picture on the right was today (7wks, 3days). I can't believe how fast she is growing. The time is just flying by. I am trying to block out the fact that I actually have to go back to work in about 4 weeks. Ugh. I am so not ready for that. I can't imagine not being with her every day. It really makes me sad. I talked to my boss about being able to change up my schedule at work so that I can be home with her one day a week. She seemed ok with it but I haven't heard final word yet. Fingers crossed! I just hate the thought of missing out on new things that she does. She is doing so much more even in just the last week. She is "talking" more regularly and she smiles SO much! We are also starting to get into a routine and life is just so much easier. She is sleeping well at night now. It's just great. I enjoy every day with her.

Lilah's 1st Easter

1 month old!

I can't believe my little girl is one month old already! The time has really flown by. She looks like a totally different baby now. She has started smiling some and has great head control. About a week ago I laid her on the couch and she rolled from front to back and then from back to front. I am sure it was a total fluke because she hasn't done it again but it was still pretty cool! She is sleeping in her swing right now, which is a first. Usually she hates it. I still am unsure when I will be going back to work. It really depends on how a few jobs pan out for Brian. If he gets a couple of them, I will be able to stay out through the end of April. My fingers are crossed. I really just can't even imagine going back to work in 2 weeks.

Lilah @ 3 weeks

Lilah's First Professional Pics

We took Lilah to have here first professional pictures taken yesterday. I have posted a few of my favorites! She did ok for parts of the shoot but definitely turned in to "angry baby" for a little while. Mostly for the naked baby pictures. Lilah decided to pee on the black backdrop while she was having pictures taken. I was so glad we also got to take a couple of family photos as well.

Lilah has been doing really well sleeping at night lately. She has been doing 4-1/2 to 5 hour stretches at a time. She is also eating really good too. We just switched her back to the formula she was on at the hospital. She had been drinking a different version of the same brand (Good Start). The original formula is much more gentle on her little tummy so she has been much happier the last couple of days.

Brian & I are loving being parents! It is just so crazy to think that she is the little person that was growing inside me for all those months. She is so changing so fast at this point. We are just trying to enjoy every moment!