Back to Work. Ugh.

I go back to work on Monday and I feel like my heart is breaking. I can't stand the thought of not being with Lilah everyday. It is just not fair. I'm not ready to leave her. I need about 18 more years lol! Lilah will be with Brian every Monday and my mom every Tuesday. She is will be with Nancy (our neighbor who has a son Lilah's age) Wednesday thru Friday unless Brian is off work. I am hoping to get my schedule modified so that I can work 4 days a week and be home with her an extra day. I did the math and after insurance and taxes being taken out of my check and paying for childcare I will be working for about $1.75 an hour on the days she is with Nancy. Awesome. Defintely NOT worth being away from my baby girl. I just hate it. I never imagined that I would be the one who would WANT to be a stay-at-home mom, but now that is all I want and I can't have it right now.

Professional Pics

wow...

The picture on the left was taken when Lilah was 8 days old and the picture on the right was today (7wks, 3days). I can't believe how fast she is growing. The time is just flying by. I am trying to block out the fact that I actually have to go back to work in about 4 weeks. Ugh. I am so not ready for that. I can't imagine not being with her every day. It really makes me sad. I talked to my boss about being able to change up my schedule at work so that I can be home with her one day a week. She seemed ok with it but I haven't heard final word yet. Fingers crossed! I just hate the thought of missing out on new things that she does. She is doing so much more even in just the last week. She is "talking" more regularly and she smiles SO much! We are also starting to get into a routine and life is just so much easier. She is sleeping well at night now. It's just great. I enjoy every day with her.

Lilah's 1st Easter

1 month old!

I can't believe my little girl is one month old already! The time has really flown by. She looks like a totally different baby now. She has started smiling some and has great head control. About a week ago I laid her on the couch and she rolled from front to back and then from back to front. I am sure it was a total fluke because she hasn't done it again but it was still pretty cool! She is sleeping in her swing right now, which is a first. Usually she hates it. I still am unsure when I will be going back to work. It really depends on how a few jobs pan out for Brian. If he gets a couple of them, I will be able to stay out through the end of April. My fingers are crossed. I really just can't even imagine going back to work in 2 weeks.

Lilah @ 3 weeks

Lilah's First Professional Pics

We took Lilah to have here first professional pictures taken yesterday. I have posted a few of my favorites! She did ok for parts of the shoot but definitely turned in to "angry baby" for a little while. Mostly for the naked baby pictures. Lilah decided to pee on the black backdrop while she was having pictures taken. I was so glad we also got to take a couple of family photos as well.

Lilah has been doing really well sleeping at night lately. She has been doing 4-1/2 to 5 hour stretches at a time. She is also eating really good too. We just switched her back to the formula she was on at the hospital. She had been drinking a different version of the same brand (Good Start). The original formula is much more gentle on her little tummy so she has been much happier the last couple of days.

Brian & I are loving being parents! It is just so crazy to think that she is the little person that was growing inside me for all those months. She is so changing so fast at this point. We are just trying to enjoy every moment!

Lilah is 1 Week Old!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Here are a few more pics of my early birthday present :-)

Lilah's Birth Story!

I was 40 wks 5 days they did a stress test and Lilah looked great. I was hoping for good news on progress when my midwife checked me. I was still at a fingertip and 50% effaced and all I wanted to do was cry. My midwife offered up scheduling an induction and also said I had the option of just scheduling a C-section since baby was estimating at 9lbs 2oz. I told her I would like to try for vaginal delivery. My husband and I both made a point to let her know that we had everything in our car and could go straight to L&D if they had an opening that day. She called to schedule and let us know that we would be going in Tuesday night (2/23) and to look for a call from L&D from 5 - 7:30pm letting us know what time to come in. I was bummed out to be going home but glad to have an end in sight. When we got outside, my mom was waiting in the parking lot to see what the news was. She has been super-anxious and was on her way to work and decided to stop through and meet up with us to get an update. I told her we were going home and filled in all the details of the appt. About 10 minutes later we were getting in the car to head home and I noticed I had a voicemail from my OB's office. Checked my voicemail and it was from my midwife asking me to call back re: the scheduled induction. Great news! L&D calld back right after I left and said they had n opening and we could come right over!! I was so excited!

We went across the street to the hospital and got all checked in. They set my up in a room and @ aroundlf a tab 1:30pm I was given half a Cytotec to get things rolling. I started having contraction, a lot of which I could not feel. At 5:30pm my midwfie came by to check my progress and I was 1cm & 60% effaced. I was so happy to have made progress, even though it wasn't very much. She said that my contraction were too closed together to get another half of Cytotec so she wanted to start me on Cervidil. The pharmacy finally got my Cervidil up to L&D at 7:30pm. I had some contractions I could feel throughout the night. They came in and took out the Cervidil the next morning at checked me, I was still at 1-2cm and 60% effaced. My midwife then suggested that we try inserting a foley cath into my cervix to try and dilate me further and start me on pitocen. The foley cath procedure was the most painful thing I have felt in my life! It was terrible and unsuccessful because my cervix was so high that she couldn't get it in properly. She then suggested that I go ahead and get my epidural early, around 11:30am, so that we could try the foley cath procedure with out me feeling it. I asked if we could wait until 12:15pm to see if I made any changes on my own first. The pitocen ws giving me pretty decent contraction by the time she came back. She checked me again and I was 2-3cm. I decided to go ahead and get the epidural so that we could try the foley cath again. I was a nervous wreck when getting the epi and I cried like a baby after the anethesiologist finished. I had progressively strong contraction thoughout the afternoon that I couldn't feel. At 2:30pm my nurse helped my flip to my right side because I was more numb on my left side. When I flipped she spent about 30 minutes trying to get the baby on the monitor and it just wasn't happening. She helped me flip back to my left and when I did, my water broke! I was so excited! The nurse said there was a little meconium, but not to worry about it. At 5:30 my midwife came to check my progress and I was 3-4 cm & 70% effaced.We had been upping my pitocen all afternoon and I was up to 20, which is the max for external monitoring. She got me set up on internal monitoring anf upped me to 22. Baby had been dropped down at every contraction for quite a while but wouldn't engaged. She kept going back up to -3 station. We then discussed the possibilty of a C-section. My midwife told me she would be back at 9:30pm to check me and we would go from there. I was so exhausted. I told her that I really wanted her to jut be blunt with me when she recheck me later and if she thought we were heading for a C-section anyway at that point I wanted to know since we had tried everything in the book to induce me. 9:30pm came and she checked again. I was 4cm and baby was still at -3 station. After 33 hours of failed induction, she said we should go ahead with the C-section. I was definitely bummed out and so tired at that point so I said "Let's do it." Literally 2 minutes later all the OR staff was in my room getting me ready to go ino surgery. I thought there would be some downtime since it wasn't an emergency, but I am glad they got me started so quickly because Inervous wreck. Very quickly after that Brian was all suited up we were off to the OR. I didn't open my eyes until the nurse said "Ok, you will hear your baby cry in a mintue. She is almost out." I had no idea they had even started yet. I thought the sensations I was feeling was prepping me and making sure I was numb. T hen I heard it. The most wonderful sound in the world, Lilah's first cry! I opened my eyes and looked at Brian and we both started crying. She was born at 10:25pm on 2/23/10. The 34 hours that lead up to birth were so worth it in the end. Brian and I are so in love with her. It is truly the best thing I have ever done in my life!

40 weeks and No Baby

Well, the waiting game has officially begun. Today is Lilah's due date and it doesn't look like she will be making an appearance. We have had an eventful last couple of days. Tuesday I was having a pretty bad headache but I just brushed it off. Wednesday morning I woke up and had an even worse headache and decided to check my blood pressure, which was 145/90. I was supposed to have an appointment @ 3pm but I didn't feel right so I called my OB's office and they told me to go to labor & delivery @ Kennestone. We got there at around 8:30am and they got me all hooked up to the monitors and did some lab work. We were thinking they might just go ahead and get things started since we were alrady there, but no such luck. Baby looked good on the monitors, all my lab work came back fine and my blood pressure was down from laying on my left side. We were there until about 11:30am and they ended us sending me home to rest and having me reschedule my appointment for today. I kept checking my blood pressure throughout the day yesterday and it would be fine if I was laying down but go right back up as soon as i got up to do anything. Last night Lilah was really active. It felt like she was bracing herself against my ribs with her feet and pushing down with her head as hard as she could. That felt just wonderful lol. I check my blood pressure a few times this morning before we left for my appointment and it was back up again, 155/92. When we got to the doctor they check everything and I had no progress, again. Everything has been the same for the last 3 - 4 weeks. They decided to do an ultrasound to check Lilah and everything looked good, but she is estimated to weigh 9lbs 2oz right now. I wanted to cry lol. Again, I thought for sure they would be sending us straight to the hospital to get things going. That didn't happen. They are worried that since I have had no progress that I would end up having to have a C-section if they tried to induce me today. Per doctors orders, I am officially on bed rest until my next appointment on Monday morning. They want to give me a chance to go into labor on my own over the weekend and if that doesn't happen I will have a non-stress test and we will go from there. They will more than likely induce me at that point because of her size. I was nervous about delivering a 7 or 8lb baby. Now that they are saying 9lb, and she said that estimate was on the conservative side, I am even more nervous. We are crossing our fingers that something happens over the next couple of days, but I just don't see anything changing.

39 weeks!

Holy belly, that thing is huge! I feel like I have a 20lb baby in there lol. When we saw the midwife on Friday she said she felt a lot of baby in there from side to side and asked how much I weighed at birth, which was 8lbs 11oz, and said that sounded about right. Looks like we might have a big baby. I was hoping she would be somewhere in the 7lb range. I am so ready for her to be here. We are really hoping that she will come on her own between now and Wednesday but I have feeling she is going to have to be evicted lol. I guess we will see!

37 weeks!

Well, technically, 37 weeks on Thursday. I am on the weekly appointments now. Last week when they checked me I had no dilation or effacement. I have been having a lot more Braxton-Hicks contraction lately. Yesterday I was very uncomfortable all day and I had a terrible night last night so I am home today. Lilah is still squirming around a lot in there. I will definitely miss that feeling when she gets here. I am so ready to meet her though!

35 weeks!

33 weeks!!

Well, it looks as if the site I was getting my cute little icons from doesn't exist anymore :-( We had a great Christmas! I can't believe it is over already and we are into the new year! We pretty much have the nursery all finished. I need to take some new pictures to post on here, just haven't gotten around to it yet. We had a 3D ultrasound done on the Saturday after Christmas. She has such chubby little cheeks! Here are some of the best shots: